Dearest Friends

Dear friends,

I know you have a bad impression on me.

I feel trapped and suffocated.

What good are friends when they don't support you?

I can make a ton of friends in school.
But, because I'm short and not very assertive, you would push me around.

Sometimes when I bring things to school and show them to everione,
they would call me a showoff.

But I come with good intentions. REALLY!

Whenever I do something light, someone would rub salt on the wound.

Why?
Because they think that I'm a pushover.
that I overdo things.

most of the time I feel misunderstood.
Ppl scold me and scream at me for almost no reason,
even before I get to explain exactly what happened.

I dread going back to class after mothertongue and wish that time would freeze.
Not because I hate you all.
Because I really have friends there which I can count on and don't play the fool.

But I know you'll never forgive me properly because deep inside you still bear a grudge against
me.

And why?

Because reputation is what people THINK you are.
Character is what you REALLY are.

I'm a bit low on social quotient here.
So please don't jump to conclusions.

My reputation, in this class, is not very good.
I wish I can turn back the clock...
...and undo everything.

I know about your grudge against me.

I sincerly thank Mr Wan for speaking up for me all the time.
But I know it's high time when I stand up on my own.

I know
I have a small voice which is not very loud
A sense of humour which doesn't give ppl a sense of adrenalin
A horribly lazy attitude
But I just wanna
Drop it all down

and make real friends...

so please,
stop holding a knife behind me.
and understand my intentions.

(I will no longer stay anonymous on the blog.
So that you can understand the good person in me.)

Jean.