-.-
I don't know why.
It's just jealousy.
I mean, practically everyone has a job here in the blog except me.
I guess I'm just a nuisance.
Mr Wan, why do you say that I'm a nuisance here in the blog?
I'm just trying to say something.
If I do it in class, do you think people will understand me?
Do you think they will even listen?
I tried, you know.
I tried that day during Health Education to ask people what's wrong with me.
I only had ten minutes and a very soft voice.
Nobody was paying attention.
Everyone was making fun of me, except for a few people.
okay, look.
People don't know and don't care about how hard I try to help myself.
I ended up so hurt that I was bawling away after school. Even the teacher didn't bother to encourage me.
I remembered that I promised myself not to cry.
I mean, I was like, in the middle of what I was trying to say when the bell rung.
And the teacher didn't give me another minute to talk. She just interrupted me and told everyone to pack up and go.
I was standing there alone with tears in my eyes as I watched everyone pack up and leave, turning off the lights, leaving me alone to sob in the dark classroom.
Is that the case?
Is it why you didn't want me as a blog admin?
I've tried to change.
I've tried as hard as I could.
And I bet that nobody will sit with me in the bus to NUS because I am so stupid.
Definitely.
And that nobody will talk to me.
Or walk by me.
Or even care to look at me at all.
Why am I such a dratted person?
I've really tried to be faithful.
All I've ever wanted is a place in this world.
I'm the 39th person in class with no one to talk to.
And everyone knows that 39 is an odd number.
I know. I'm a social outcast.
I'm the biggest freak in school.
And I don't think anyone here knows how hurt I feel.
How sick and tired I am of talking about this blimey stupid situation I am always stuck in.
never mind.
nobody cares anyway.
They'll continue flaming me till they're blue in the face.
the ELR
posted by 6 Honesty at
6:50 PM
5 Comments:
Nothing's wrong with you.
I don't find you a nuisance either. But somehow, you don't seem to communicate well with Joslyn in the blog. Anyway, that's for you two to sort it out.
Have you ever considered it could be due to the way you communicate to others? Like how you commented on Bryan as a Young Scientist. It wasn't pleasant.
You got to be more sensitive to others' feelings.
If you think you're irritating, I know lots more who are worse than you and they have their own friends. You're definitely a much more pleasant person than them.
If you feel that you lack friends, what was the cause of it? Some people gain friends because they can help in the team, like during PE or some APBL project. You got your own strengths, particularly in English. Have you ever offered help to others in that aspect? Maybe, that can be a start.
As for blog admin, I'm not the one who decides alone. If you're truly interested, I'll ask the rest, like Alicia, Adriana, Andrew, Pei Zhen, Poh Yi, Joslyn for their opinions.
By the way, we don't do much as admin. Once in a blue moon, we delete some nasty entries. That's about it.
Let us know if you're interested.
Mr Wan
Ok, first thing. We are a class. When there is a class or a particular group of people, everyone has jobs. Some people have more, some have less. Megan and Daryl are moniters. Dennis and Christie are science moniters. But so? Those are the ther duties they do. However,in class, everyone has something to do, which is to make friends, socialise and help each other out. And it's pretty much the same in a blog.
Next, that time during HE, the bell had already rang and we were hot, sweaty and tired and had other places to go. So we were pretty irritated and upset about the fact that one of our classmates was screaming at us saying that we were ignoring her and all that. But the truth is, we were and are not. You just come up to us at the wrong time and wrong place.
And every time we try to talk to you or something, it goes well, but when we comment on your behaviour, you start to become emo or angry. So listen and acceot what we say, please.
Like Alicia, said, you're just trying to be emo, and no one dosent wanna NOT talk to you, they are just busy, offline or something similar. Don't be paraniod! LOL.
And sure, lot's of people hate me at times because I can be such an idiot sometimes, but if you apologise indirectly, all will be fine, but when you and I fall out, we don't speak for months. Even if I try to.
Lastly, by saying that the teachers don't give you any encouragement at all, it's wrong. It's VERY and darn wrong. Because, they are trying their best to help all their students, and you're not the only pupil they have. Take Mr. Wan, he has like, 80? And they are stressed out, Jean. They have stuff to mark, exams to set, meetings, places to go home to to be on time for dinner, or something like that, I dunno. So you talking to them and they not listening to you is probably because they have way too much stuff in their minds. And the way you're emo-ing, it's a bit too much for them , I mean, they are supposed to help us, but they are not thrapists, your parents or whatever.
Oh, and please stop insisting on making us do what we don't wan to do by either directly or indirectly forcing us to do something, even if it is unintended. It's kinda annoying.
I know you really hate me now and think that I am a total *****, but Mr. Wan has spoken from his view, so it's my turn to say it from my view and your peers.
But cheer up! Everythng will be OK. If you live, there will be bad days, but there will also be amazing days. Your amazing days will come Jean! And we are tweenagers (kids going on to be teenagers)! Meaning that we are youhs. Youth is all about this! Problems, love, hate, friendship, tears, stress, etc. Bear whatever hurts you and enjoy and cherish whatever makes you happy now, because, when you start working and all, you'll look back, and regret that you didn't have so mcuh fun, or that you didn't do this and that. In the near future, in Sec 1, you'll also be thinking, "Oh! How I wish that I had done this and that. Now's no fun anymore, it's all about more sophisticated stuff!" So, make a (good) memory and mark in all of our hearts! ^.^
XOXO
and plus, if you think that writng this post was a waste of time (refer: last few paragraphs) then don't write it. Because, that way, it is edundant.
No offence
u should look into the future not the past.2day u maybe feel unhappie but as long as u tink 2moro gonna be better it will be ! soo dun put a gloomy face at school ! no offence !
hi jean....first and formost,i was listening to you in class that time...i too have to agree wif mr wan.jean,you are my friend and i respect that...
You have to be thankful that you already have some friends..look you are juz like me.alicia is my friend but sometimes she also has to be wif other frenz.And i agree to that.Time will pass Jean.
About the blog admin thing .....look at the next blog and i'll tell you wat to do.If you need someone to talk to juz find me ok?
:)
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